Tuesday, November 11, 2008

Lurkers of the World: Unite!

You have only your anonymity to lose.

Well, here I am, Pallidbust: author/operator of Proper Spanking Stories. Here at Proper we believe in the imagination, so with few exceptions we only post the first few chapters of any given story, then let you, the reader, explore your own creativity to figure out what happens. Also there is a snoose button on my genius box, so I'm a little behind schedule on my writings.

Lets see, something about me. Well, I've always been fascinated by spanking, but I didn't realize that spanking was as necessary as food, shelter, and love until my high school girlfriend's birthday.

She sat on my lap and before us was a computer. Back then computers ran on vacuum tubes and were powered by two caffeinated gerbils on a tread wheel. We dialed Prodigy and were hurled into the internettubeswebhighway to look up the Victory Secret's website.

"How about this one?", PB asked asked in perfect innocence.
"You think I look old, don't you?" answered evil, backstabbing heart eating wench whom-I-hope married a drunk.
"Um... no, we're in high school. How about this one?"
"OK," I said, happy to make progress. "So I'll just pick the size and..."
"That's not my size!"
"Sorry." I smiled, hiding my teeth to show no aggression like the baboons. "You know I've never bought female clothing before so a learning curve should be..."
"Is this your subtle way of telling me I should lose weight? You think I'm fat!!"
"Um... no. Here, I'll just pick... this smaller size."
After I wiped the blood my from my eyes and found the strength to stand, I snapped my nose into place and asked my first and last love whatever was the predicament.

"OH, so now you're buying me paternity clothes in anticipation of getting me pregnant, so I wont go to college and learn how to maximize my potential as a womyn!! Dependent on you economic domination, I'll be your domestic slave, barefoot in the kitchen and, while not exactly illiterate, possessing only a high school literary background. My mother told me about guys like you. You're all alike."

Then, dear readers, Pallidbust learned the importance of spanking womyn. A little later I learned the importance of restraining orders. Apparently spankings should be consentual. Live and learn.

So take a look about. So far my magum opus is Reform. I warn you: it will be the best experience of your life. It'll be all downhill from there.